Author Archives: bhealth
Author Archives: bhealth
Confidence is a funny thing. When we have it, we tend to not think about it. We simply go out and do things. We probably don’t even realize just how amazing some of those things are.
But when confidence has taken a sharp blow, suddenly everything becomes more difficult. Even getting started on something so simple as a new project or talking to a stranger can seem daunting. The world becomes a much more complicated and difficult place.
So, if you’re needing confidence, you’re in the right place. Read on to find out about some really clever things you can do to boost your confidence right now.
Make a List
Caught up in a spiral of thinking you never do anything, right? Defeat the blah blues by making a list of everything you’ve accomplished. You’ll very likely be pleasantly surprised to find out just how capable you are.
Nothing makes you feel more confident than having the feeling you know what you’re doing. With this in mind, become an expert somewhere. How about learning how to make the best-mixed drinks, take up a hobby you’ve been thinking about forever, or get a skill certification at your local community college?
Dress the Part
When you look your best, you can’t help but feel confident. Always wear clothing that makes you feel like a million bucks.
Understand Your Belief System
Do you hold with certain moral or religious beliefs? Why? Having your values questioned has a way of demoralizing even the most confident person. On the other hand, having a clear understanding about what you believe will give you the confidence to share these beliefs with those around you.
Do What Scares You
Nothing builds confidence more than achieving something you previously thought was beyond your capabilities. Dare to do something you never thought you’d do. For some, that might be something super adventurous, like skydiving. For others, even talking to a stranger can be terrifyingly daunting.
Feeling like you can’t achieve what you want to? Find books, videos, or documentaries on people who’ve done something similar. Confidence comes from knowing what you want in life is possible. If they can do it, you can too!
Analyze Your Actions
Feeling like you’ve been making nothing but the wrong decisions? It’s hard to feel confident when your moral compass is taking a beating. Ask yourself if your actions are in keeping with what you believe. If not, something needs to change before you can be your confident self again.
In all of this, remember the most important thing is to be true to yourself. You’ll never feel confident if you’re caught up in trying to be something you’re not. Be true to you first and foremost. The rest will follow.
No one is confident all the time. Think about it. Even the superstars have bad days from time to time. Take for example, actor Christ Pratt. After being cast in several roles where he played a jerk because (as he was often told), ‘you just look like a jerk,’ he started doubting himself. He lost his confidence. Yet no one can argue with his success now.
When we lose our confidence, we initially flounder. Chris Pratt started stress eating. He even wanted to give up. He didn’t though, and neither should you. In fact, it’s a lot easier to reclaim your confidence than you think. Even after it’s taken a severe blow.
Find a Friend
Sometimes the best therapy is to just talk things through with a friend or mentor. Rehashing what just happened clarifies in your own mind the incident and helps you to process your emotions connected with whatever caused the blow. Doing this with a friend means doing this with the help of someone who won’t let you fall into confidence defeating self-talk. Keep in mind, though, this isn’t the job of a casual acquaintance. Pick someone you can count on to be honest, who’s already in your corner.
Dive Back In
Doing nothing guarantees continued failure. This is why it’s so important to jump back in and try again when your confidence is shaken. Going back to our example of the actor Chris Pratt, he always kept looking for the next role to play despite how the previous one turned out.
Celebrate the Successes, No Matter How Small
Once you’re in motion, you’re going to start seeing progress. Embrace even the tiniest of steps. Anytime you’ve gained momentum, it’s worth celebrating. In fact, these small successes are what’s going to do the most work in rebuilding confidence, which you’ll see in the next step.
Revisit Your Accomplishment
Take a minute and think about those things which you have accomplished. By recognizing you’re capable of success, you’ll start to realize the negative things you’re telling yourself about you are not necessarily true. Here is where you recognize you’re worth more than you think. With this comes confidence.
Failure is also valuable. It’s in moments of disaster where you learn the best things. This goes far beyond the basics of finding out what doesn’t work. The best character-building exercises come straight out of these kinds of mistakes, building confidence, and showing what you’re capable of.
In the end, Chris Pratt gained his confidence back by following steps very much like these. He found out he was good at humor and used the lessons learned to move forward and build a fantastic career. You too can find success and brand-new confidence again. Hang in there. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go with a little confidence!
Not having a good day? Before you start internalizing and ruining what little confidence you have left after the disaster, think about these things:
Remember Who Loves You
Sometimes just knowing someone is already in your corner is enough to replenish fading confidence. After all, your friends are your friends for a reason, right? If you’re feeling particularly alone, you might want to consider your Facebook feed or Instagram followers. Someone out there cares about you, probably more than you think.
Realize What Caused the Shift
Something just caused you to lose confidence. What is it? By figuring out where the problem lies, you’re that much closer to solving it.
Remember Who You Were
Somewhere before this confidence drop, you were someone else entirely. In other words, if you were confident once, it’s merely a matter of remembering who that person was. Believe it or not, you’re still the same person inside. You’re just not feeling it right now.
Figure Out the Goals
How are you supposed to move forward from this point if you don’t know where you’re going? It’s definitely time to look at the future ahead of you. Where do you see yourself in a week? A month? A year? What does this person look like? What are they accomplishing? Here’s where you do some serious goal setting. You’ll be amazed at how much a solid destination helps confidence.
Try a Strategic Retreat
If your confidence is wavering thanks to the input of a certain situation or individual, it might be time to pull back. There’s nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of your lives, and no one says you need to stay in an unhealthy situation. The absolute best thing you can do for your confidence is to protect yourself from things bent on destroying it.
Talk to Your Tribe
It’s nearly impossible to feel confident after a hard blow when you’re going it alone. Find your friends and supporters. Talk to your mentors. These are people who are there to help and build you up. Let them.
Act “As If”
Faking it is an amazing magical thing all on its own. Oddly enough, studies have found that people who go out and fake confidence start feeling genuine confidence very quickly.
Give Yourself Time
Nothing happens overnight. Realize the process might take longer than you want it to. Be patient and acknowledge it might be a while before you feel your old self again.
Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
The problem is, enthusiasm can be hard to come by, especially when yours has taken a beating. Setbacks and disappointments have a way of knocking it down. We start doubting ourselves and lose sight of who we really are. Without confidence, it becomes impossible to try, guaranteeing failure.
Thankfully, we know one thing for certain: confidence can be reclaimed, as every successful person knows. Read on to discover 7 things successful people know about reclaiming confidence.
They Remind Themselves They Can Do It
Successful people recognize failure is normal. Getting there won’t be without bumps. The important thing when trying to regain confidence is to realize success is still a possibility…or even a probability. This is where you remind yourself of your goal and visualize success all over again.
They Walk Away
There comes a time where a break is the best thing you can give yourself. Confidence wavers when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Doing a hobby you love, or even just taking a walk, or spending time with friends, does a lot toward regaining a positive mindset when you’re feeling frustrated.
They Revisit the Past
Where have you succeeded before? Where have you failed? Everything that’s come before is a teaching moment. What do you know about yourself already from these events? Understanding the “you of yesterday” is where your insights today come from. Confidence comes from using this knowledge well.
Hating yourself for some mistake you made isn’t going to get you anywhere and only destroys your confidence. Being able to let go and forgive the past is crucial to future success.
They Keep a Handle on What They’re Saying
Self-talk can be particularly destructive to confidence. How do you talk to yourself? Are you patient and understanding, or do you tend toward negativity? Grabbing hold of those mental put-downs will preserve self-confidence. Using more positive statements will build it up.
They Start Over
The only sure way to fail is to do the same thing, in exactly the same way, when you’ve already failed the first time. Rather than force failure onto yourself and eradicate confidence, revamp the strategy. Ask yourself how you can do things differently this time.
They Keep Trying
Persistence pays off. If you fail and stop, you’ll always think of yourself as a failure. It’s the person who gets up and tries again who builds confidence as they go.
In the end, the only way to reclaim your confidence is to put intentional work into recovering it. By using these tips, you’ll get there. Recognize the process can sometimes be slow, but success truly does still lie within your grasp, even after a setback.
There is nothing more crippling than losing your confidence.
Without confidence, everything gets harder. You struggle to concentrate. Tasks feel overwhelming. If you stay there, you’ll even find a more long-term emotional impact, where you might fall into depression or become bogged down in indecision. Without confidence, you lose all forward progress.
This is why it’s so important to reclaim your confidence after suffering a blow. For a fast boost, try these eight power-ups.
Do What Makes You Uncomfortable
When you take risks, you stretch yourself in surprising new ways. This is a powerful feeling. Why? It takes confidence to step outside your comfort zone. Trying something new forces you to act with confidence, whether you started out feeling it or not.
Find Your Purpose
Knowing what you’re destined to do is a fantastic feeling and fills a person with confidence. If you’re unsure why you’ve set a particular goal, or are questioning what you’re doing, you’re not likely to feel confident at all. Solidifying the goal in your mind is a rapid boost to confidence then.
It’s normal to experience failure from time to time. This kind of disaster can easily destroy confidence. You regain this confidence when you get up and try again.
Knowledge truly is power. When you really understand something inside out, you tend to be very confident (at least in that area). Continually learning new things expands your knowledge base. As a result, your confidence extends in new directions as well.
Drop the Idea Things Have to be Perfect
When nothing is ever good enough, confidence falters. How are you supposed to feel sure of yourself when you’re feeling things are always unfinished or lacking somehow? By accepting things as they are, warts and all, you’ll find you’re relax more and even become more confident in what you’re doing because you’re telling yourself that what you have or are doing is exactly what you need.
Dress for Success
How we present ourselves to the world really can affect our mental state. Wearing what makes you feel good about yourself will restore confidence. A change in attitude is only a change in outfit away.
When you doubt your instincts, you’re telling yourself you don’t really know what you’re doing. This is why it’s so important to ‘go with your gut’ when faced with a challenge. This kind of trust instills confidence in your ability to judge a situation or outcome.
Confidence has a hard time standing up to ghosts from the past. When you get caught up in your previous failures or uncertainties, confidence falters. Instead, look forward to positive emotions. When you recognize your potential, you start seeing just how amazing you are.
Not everyone is going to get it right. Sadly, there’s always someone quick to point out when you’re getting it wrong. It’s when you come under fire that you lose confidence quickly.
To get past this kind of blow to our confidence, you need to understand these simple truths:
Not Everyone Has It Right. Not Even You
Haters are gonna hate. But just because someone comes at you with the most reasonable-sounding explanation in the world of why you’re an idiot (and you’re an expert at giving that speech to yourself), the truth is, the person doing the talking quite likely doesn’t know what they’re talking about. This is because of one simple truth: People really don’t know everything, and even when they think they do, they have a tendency to get things wrong. So just because something nasty has been said, it doesn’t make it right. Regardless of who it’s coming from.
A Lot of Criticism is Grounded in Jealousy
That disaster you’re beating yourself up over? How much of it was the result of the green-eyed monster? Too often, we give people authority over us they don’t deserve. We listen to their complaints thinking they’re right without questioning why they’re attacking what you’re doing. The biggest culprit of why you’ve drawn the attention of the critics is jealousy. Don’t let someone pull down your confidence just because they’re feeling threatened by where you are.
You’re Better Than You Think
The loss of confidence can make you the critic. Why? Because now you’re looking for justification for thinking you’re no good. And trust me, when you go hunting for this kind of justification, you’ll always find it. Here’s where you need to back up and take a good, hard, impartial look at yourself. Ask:
Confidence comes from accepting the reality of who you are and where you are. Remember, nobody, not even you, has a right to make you feel small.
Children are absolutely fearless. If you ever doubt this fact, then spend some time on a playground, and you’ll see exactly what’s meant by this statement. They jump into play, enlisting the help of perfect strangers for companionship and to meet their goals. They climb and run and jump, frequently with unbridled enthusiasm that adults come to envy.
We’re actually born with confidence. Sadly, this becomes lost through experience. All it takes is a nasty trip and fall to teach a child to approach life with more care. As we grow older, the process continues. We lose confidence with every failure and start taking to heart every harsh criticism. Soon we become so immobilized we see no way out.
The good news? Confidence can be fixed just by making several small changes in your life. Read on to find out how.
Honor Small Achievements
If you’re feeling like you never do anything right, making a list of the things you do well, and the accomplishments you’ve made is a great place to start. Enlist the help of someone who knows you well, as they’re apt to think of the things you might be too close to see. Once you have your list, keep it handy and re-read it when you feel confidence flagging.
Pull Yourself Together
A lack of confidence can make you want to hide in your own clothes. Rather than losing yourself in baggy, unattractive clothing, pull out the outfits you know you look good in. You’ll find yourself feeling more confident every time you look in the mirror.
Clean Up Your Act
Like dressing well, just taking better care of yourself does wonders for confidence. Eat right, exercise, and be sure to get enough sleep. You’ll feel worlds better, meaning your outlook likewise improves.
Check the Self Talk
Speaking of outlook, what have you been telling yourself? If you’re hyper-critical, it’s no wonder your confidence is flagging. Instead, turn your inner dialogue positive, focusing on the things you like best about yourself.
Challenge Yourself in Small Ways
A little success goes a long way toward improving confidence. Give yourself a task to do you know you can complete then set about doing it. Just the feeling you get when you finish is enough to give you a positive boost.
We all have unfinished projects around the house or at work. Digging in and finishing up something you’ve needed to for a while will serve a twofold purpose: you’ll feel good about getting something done, and you’ll even reduce some of the stress hanging over you. Both things increase confidence in giant ways.
Doing a kindness always boosts your own mood. This leads to increased confidence as you realize you really can make a difference in someone else’s life.
Because confidence comes from acting, use this list as a jumping-off point. Soon you’ll be discovering a multitude of ways to increase confidence. How exciting is that?
Carrying the Burden of Your Past Into Your Future
When you focus on the past, this is known as having emotional baggage. Everyone has stuff come up about their past, but it’s when you focus on it and let it fester that it can cause problems in your present life.
It can also hold you back from enjoying your future life. Emotional baggage can stem from events that happened to you - such as from being in an abusive relationship, from physical or emotional traumas such as a car wreck, or from carrying a burden you shouldn’t be carrying – like guilt.
When you hold onto the burdens of your past, it affects how you live your life now as well as how you’ll live in the future. It can become your identity because you get stuck in a certain pattern that was created by a past event.
Whatever it is that you experienced then colors how you behave with others, how you handle your day-to-day life, how you process thoughts and what your beliefs are today.
People carry the burden of the past because they’ve never healed the emotional blow that stemmed from the situation.
The hurt they felt back then is still there just under the surface. It might be something that’s steeped in anger or anxiety. Or it could be that you’re stuck in feelings of grief or sadness.
When you carrying a burden like this, it can make you feel like you never left that time in your life. Your emotions will feel as raw now when you think about it as they did back then.
Not only can it weigh on your emotions today when you focus on the past, but it can also hurt you physically. You can develop things like insomnia, chronic stress, stomachaches, elevated blood pressure and more.
In order to leave the past where it belongs, you have to heal. That means you must unload that baggage so you can move on. You should keep in mind that you can’t heal from what you don’t name.
So when it comes to the past, you have to look at it and uncover the pain that’s keeping you tethered to that event, person or whatever it is. Write out the things that bother you now about the past and why they bother you.
It can be helpful to take this list and speak out loud or write a letter that you eventually destroy to the past situation or to the person who wounded you. As you read out the words, picture them releasing into the air, taking the connected emotion with it until it dissipates.
Accept whatever you went through without assigning blame to yourself or someone else. This is a step toward letting it go. It doesn’t mean that someone else isn’t to blame. It doesn’t mean that it didn’t bother you emotionally.
It means that you’re recognizing that the past has had enough of your life already and you’re through with that. Once you identify what happened and what kind of emotional reaction it caused you, you find peace by loving yourself through it.
Be compassionate toward yourself. Forgive the pain of the past. Forgive your mistakes. Unpack the burden of your past by practicing self-help techniques if needed to help heal from past triggers.
Self-Awareness Is Key to Mental Well Being
There may be emotional issues that cause strife in your mental well-being. Most of this is related to events that are unresolved from your past. You may struggle with this because actively solving things might not be how you operate in life, so you end up just pushing aside any issues, thinking you’ll deal with it later.
Confronting things that bother you may not be comfortable and you may be afraid it will feel even more painful to look at something under a microscope when you could push it out of your mind instead.
You may fear that if you examine it closely, you might begin to cry and won’t be able to stop – you’ll fall apart. If you find that you’re uneasy confronting whatever is going on internally, then you should know that the problem will never be solved if you don’t push past that uneasiness.
Avoiding something just keeps it swept under the rug, but it’ll always be there and can fester and bubble up to the surface at any time. When you become self-aware, you gain the insight to figure out what your emotions are doing and how they’re impacting your life.
For example, you’ll recognize that you’re angry and you’ll know why you’re feeling that anger. But in addition to that, you’ll be able to see clearly how the emotions that you have can hold you back.
Self-awareness gives you the means to uncover the emotions that are responsible for determining several things, such as how you make decisions, how you don’t make a decision because you don’t want to deal with something, and also how that emotion might inadvertently be the symptom of a bigger issue.
Sometimes people seem to possess a certain personality trait, such as being considered an angry person. But they aren’t truly angry. Deep down, the root of that emotion could be because they’re grieving over the loss of something.
It’s just covered in anger and manifesting in that type of emotion. Once you confront the emotions that you’re experiencing, you can get to the truth. It could be that you practice avoidance in a relationship.
You don’t want to face the emotions that are going on, even though they’re causing you pain. Because you know if you do that, then action is going to be required and you don’t want to have to make a choice to leave or stay - so you put up with the emotional turmoil instead.
When you have unresolved emotions that impact your life, it can affect your mental well being. It can leave you agitated internally, even if you don’t always show that outwardly. This inner emotional turmoil can cause stress to build up and affect you physically.
The root of your emotions is never something easy to face. By becoming self-aware, you will reach the stage where you can know the truth about whatever is going on so you can fix your life and heal.
8 Minute Meditation
Choosing to take care of your mental health can mean turning to helpful resources, such as meditation. But like other people, you might have a lifestyle that’s busy and you don’t see how you can add one more thing to your schedule.
Yet the very hectic manner of your life is the biggest reason you need to take care of your mental health. You might think that meditation is something that’s just too difficult and that you’ll never be able to figure it out.
Maybe you’ve even thought about medication in the past, but decided against it because you thought it would be too complicated. That’s why the book 8 Minute Meditation is so helpful.
You can start a meditation practice that you can do in just 8 minutes so time won’t be an issue. It’s made for people who want to quiet their mind, find peace and improve mental health.
Plus, the guidelines given by the book are simple enough for a beginner to be able to do. The book covers exactly what meditation is and how it’s not a one and done thing but rather something that you can take and use throughout your life.
It also shows how meditation can improve your mental health and your life as a whole. But it also covers what meditation may not be able to help you with. You’ll gain a fundamental understanding of the myths surrounding this tool.
These myths are debunked in the book. You’ll also understand what some of the common issues are that might hinder your ability to participate. The author shares that meditation isn’t something that you set a goal for and accomplish.
It’s something that’s ongoing and can last for a lifetime. The book begins by giving readers instructions that teach you how to set up a meditation habit. It starts out with an eight week program and shares with readers whatever breathing practices they need to follow.
The author shows readers what they need to do as far as breathing techniques. Plus, you’ll learn what you need to do in order to handle your thoughts as you meditate. The book answers questions you might have on beginning a meditation habit targeted toward mental health and well being.
One of the reasons that the book is so easy to digest and makes meditation simple to put into practice is due to the way the author breaks down the instructions into actionable steps.
In fact, once you read through the instructions, you can get started meditating in just 10 minutes. You’ll be able to calm your mind and emotions and learn a healthy way to de-stress as well. If you’re someone who’s looking for a way to practice mental health care, then the strategies in this book are a great idea to implement.
Click here-below to purchase a copy of this book on Amazon