Don’t Shoulder the Burden of Everyone Else’s Problems
Sometimes, people get a bit too caught up with everyone else’s issues and can’t focus on their own. It’s very easy – especially if you’re trying to be a nice person – to try to help everyone with everything.
You end up being so focused on being a positive contributor to everyone else’s lives that you can’t stop and solve your own problems or work on your own dreams, which only allows your issues to grow larger and larger until they finally overburden you.
You’re putting yourself in a bad position, as well as making the people around you overly dependent on you. You might not even notice that everything is piling up until you’re already becoming overburdened.
First you might have to work a bit later to help out your boss and coworkers. Maybe someone you know at work needs help with a home project, and they need your help. However, your spouse needs you to get a few things done around the house while they get finished with some other chores.
Your kids might need help on their schoolwork or projects. You might have an old buddy from college coming to town later who wants to meet up again. Before you know it, you’re absolutely swamped.
But that doesn’t mean you have to say no to everyone. You have to learn how to manage your time to include time for yourself, as well as learning how to say no to unnecessary tasks.
If your kid’s project isn’t due for another few weeks, you can put it off for a little bit to spread out the burden. You don’t really need to help your coworker finish their home projects.
Politely, yet firmly, tell them that you can’t help because of other tasks you have to do. If you’re always the person that helps everyone, people will begin to take advantage of that.
If you want to pursue something rewarding for yourself, such as a career change where you’re launching your own online empire, don’t let others stand in the way of that. It takes time, and if you find yourself always using excuses as to why you can’t get it done, find out if those excuses are due to handling other peoples’ tasks.
It’s very important that you set aside time for yourself to think, rejuvenate, and enjoy life. You might pick up a hobby or begin an entrepreneurial business to better yourself. This time is essential for you to live a happy, healthy life.
Otherwise, you’re just stuck helping everyone else live their lives. You can find time to help your friends and family while still dedicating enough time to help yourself. Even then, you should try to help your friends and family become more independent, and learn how to do their home projects and school work with little to no help, because help won’t always be there.
Don’t Just Change Your Beliefs – Change Your Behaviors
Everyone has a point in time in which they change their beliefs because they think differently due to some event. Perhaps it was something traumatizing, or something minor, like reading a blog post.
Either way, despite our newfound changes in thinking, we don’t always change out behaviors to match our beliefs. For example, maybe you read how successful entrepreneurs master time management and it sounds great, but you don’t actively do anything to alter your disorganized behavior.
Or you might find a new way of dieting, and start noticing all of the unhealthy things everyone eats. However, you might not actually be eating the healthiest yourself. You might wish that everyone were nicer around you, while still being a bit unpleasant to those around you.
This kind of behavior can hurt your relationships with your friends and family and generate a lot of unwanted stress. When you don’t practice what you preach, you’ll find yourself looked down upon by the people around you as a hypocrite.
People will only accept your beliefs if you accurately reflect them, otherwise you’ll just make your beliefs look bad or you’ll make yourself look bad. You’ll also feel bad emotionally, when you reflect on yourself and realize that you’re not the person that you want to be, or think you are.
It’s difficult, though, to make these changes. When you realize that you’re not behaving as you believe you should be, it can be hard to change your actual behavior. Be sure to spend time every day thinking about what changes you want to make, and then dedicate time to following through with those changes.
It won’t happen immediately – it will take a few weeks for you to get totally used to changing your behavior. In the meantime, ask a friend or family member to help you focus on this change and keep you on track.
If you’re the only one paying attention to it, you’ll find yourself forgetting about the change until you’ve completely forgotten about it. When you start really acting as you believe you should, you’ll find that you’re happier with who you are as a person.
This leads to you finding happiness in life much more quickly, because you’re not discontent with your personality. It will also improve your social life, because when people hear you talking about your beliefs and also accurately reflecting them, they’ll see you as a more trustworthy person, and will show you more respect. Not many people can put their money where their mouth is and actually follow through with everything they say.
Gain Appreciation for What’s Going Right in Your Life
Sometimes, people see life through a filter of negativity, only focusing on the bad parts. They always think about what’s going wrong in their lives, what gets them riled up, and what they hate.
Many people like to indulge these thoughts and complain about these things to their friends and coworkers, either in person or over social media. If they’re working on their online business, the focus isn’t on accomplishments, but on what they failed to achieve instead.
This is even more prevalent in people who have it rough. It’s much easier to be upset about the bad things happening to you than to be grateful for the good. To be truly happy, you have to be able to appreciate the things that are going right.
Focusing too much on the negative aspects of your life negatively affects you and the people around you. You’ll be in a perpetual state of gloom if gloom is all you ever know. You can’t effectively work towards your goals if you’re stuck in negativity.
You can’t even begin to fix what’s going wrong in your life if you focus too much on it – you won’t even know where to begin if it’s all you know. Instead, dedicate your time and energy toward appreciating the positive aspects of your life.
We should all take more time to appreciate the things in our lives that are going right. Think about what you have that others would be desperate for, whether it be a house, a car, a job, or even a family.
Even just living in a first world country is a great benefit. So instead of focusing on how much you hate your boss and wish you could leave it to pursue an online business, think about how wonderful it is to have a source of income as you work on your entrepreneurial dream, because many people aren’t so fortunate.
When you focus more on the things that are going right in your life, you make it much easier to work towards your goals. When you appreciate the things that are going right, it gives you greater drive to accomplish your goals, because you know the feeling of success and want to feel more of it.
When you focus too much on the negative, you don’t get that drive to change your life for the better. Even your friends and family will feel the effects of your positivity – by seeing your upbeat attitude, they’ll be inspired to follow in your footsteps.
By doing this, you can feel more accomplished by having contributed positively to their lives. Learn to take time to appreciate what’s right, and you’ll find that you’ll have more positive experiences.
Being in Charge of Your Life Doesn’t Mean Closing the Door on Vulnerability
When people begin to take control of their own lives, it’s very easy for them to over-do it with their newfound lease on life. You might start thinking that you have to be fully in charge all the time, because any signs of weakness might cause you to falter.
This can backfire on you if you’re an online marketer who needs the input of others to succeed. You might shut out other people’s advice and try to handle everything on your own, attempting to be completely rock solid.
While you can’t be flimsy and be used like a doormat, you can’t go to the other extreme and be completely hard, either. You have to find a reasonable middle ground. Closing off everyone and everything and trying to be completely invulnerable is one of the worst things you can do when trying to help yourself.
By doing this, you’ll drive away your friends and those who are genuinely trying to help you succeed by giving you good advice. You’ll find yourself less confident and sometimes depressed because you’re trying too hard to not be vulnerable.
By closing off access to your friends and peers, you’ll cut off potential opportunities for networking and success. You simply can’t be successful or happy at the extreme ends of vulnerability.
There’s a middle ground between flimsy and rock solid when it comes to being vulnerable. You have to learn to be firm, yet flexible enough to be able to adapt when you need to.
Show just enough vulnerability to make you seem much more genuine and relatable. People will take you much more seriously and respect you more if you acknowledge your weaknesses, but don’t dwell on them too much.
This is the sign of a true leader, and will lead you down the path to success by opening up new opportunities. It can be difficult to find the appropriate balance between vulnerability and strength, and it may also vary from person to person.
If you’re going through a really bad time in life, you’ll find it might be better for you to be more strong than vulnerable, until you reach a point in life where you’re comfortable enough to relax a bit.
Once you’re in a spot where you feel safer, you can be a bit more vulnerable and accept help more often. However, you should never, under any circumstance, be completely closed off or completely vulnerable. Find the balance that works best for you, and stick with it.
Choose Your Reaction to What Life Sends Your Way
Most of the time, when a major or even minor event is thrown our way, we simply react to it. There’s not a lot of thought process behind it – it’s just something that we do naturally.
However, by thinking about how you want to react rationally, you can better control your life. There are very few instances in which a kneejerk reaction is a good thing. When a difficult situation arises, stop and think about what the appropriate reaction is, and how you should react.
You can control your response to anything if you just take some time to think it over. When you choose how you want to react to a situation, you hold all of the power in that moment.
If someone does something with the intention of upsetting you or making you angry, like a customer who rants to you that your product is horrible and they want a refund sixty seconds after buying it, being able to respond to it calmly takes away their power.
Your life will no longer be dictated by the things happening around you. Nothing can make you feel a way that you don’t want to. Nobody can control your emotions but you. By taking the reins, you can live a happier, more satisfying life by being able to look on the bright side of things.
Immediate reactions are usually irrational, and irrational actions can get you in a lot of trouble. For example, you might be getting tailgated on the highway. You automatically get upset, and you start to see that car behind you as an enemy, and you try to get them away from you or get back at them.
In the process of trying to respond with anger, you could be distracted by their presence and crash – or cause an even worse altercation. Instead, think about simple solutions to solving the problem at hand.
This applies to everyday life, as well. If someone says something derogatory towards you, don’t just try to fight them, just find a way to escape the situation safely, and know that you were the better person in that instance.
In some situations, the immediate reaction that you have is appropriate, such as the loss of someone close to you. You don’t have to make a situation like that positive. For the emotions that follow, such as grief, choose how you’ll handle having these feelings.
Talk it out with a grief counselor rather than just putting it on the back burner. It’s important to recognize situations in which hasty reactions are acceptable, and situations in which well thought out, controlled responses are preferable.
Are You Squandering Your Energy on Things That Don’t Matter?
When you get too caught up in the things you don’t like, it’s easy to lose sight of your goals and the path to achieving them. Once you begin to indulge in your anger, you quickly begin to feel worse each day by continuing to fuel all the wrong emotions.
If you wake up in the morning only thinking about the things you don’t like and how angry or disheartened that makes you, then you’ll live the rest of your life in a negative mindset, which is bad for your mental and physical health.
Staying in a constant state of anger or sadness is bad for your health in many ways. You might find yourself experiencing more frequent headaches, fatigue, stomach problems, and other physically harmful feelings.
These are all side effects of stress, which is always present with negative emotions. Mentally, you’ll find yourself being more irritable and upset, which can affect your loved ones.
Most importantly, you won’t be focused on the goals you want to work towards. You won’t ever feel that sense of satisfaction that you crave if all of your days are spent being upset.
If you go to bed and wake up worried that you’re not good enough to be a niche leader online, then it detracts from the happiness you could be feeling from achieving the goals you tackled that day. That confidence will lend to more success the following day, whereas anxiety will cause it to stall.
If you’re a 9-5 worker, instead of waking up thinking about how you’re going to dread seeing that one coworker of yours, think about how happy you are to have a stable job. Focus on the things that you love and the things that you need to do.
Complaining about your coworkers every day isn’t going to help you accomplish your goals. It’s absolutely useless, and it only causes you issues, not them. Instead of complaining about everything that’s wrong, focus your efforts on fixing the things that are wrong that you can fix, and spend some time focusing on the things that you enjoy or are pleased with.
When you start to spend your time and energy working towards things that you want and things that you enjoy, you’ll lose that feeling of stress. You’ll wake up feeling energized and excited to start your day rather than dreading another useless day of getting nothing done.
Get on a good sleep schedule if you’re not already on one so that you can spend more time doing the things that you love. You’ll find that your mind is more at ease and you feel much healthier.
You’ll gain a sense of satisfaction just knowing that you’re taking control of your own path, that you’re living life how you want to live it rather than letting someone (or something) else turn you into an unproductive mess.
Become the Best Version of Yourself By Weeding Out Bad Traits
We all have a few traits in our personalities that could be changed or improved to make us better people – and better marketers who are able to serve our audience. You have to recognize what traits you would like to work on before you can begin improving yourself, of course.
Think about what traits you have that you would find annoying coming from other people. Ask your friends and coworkers what they think your worst trait is. You might find that you’re doing things that annoy people around you without even realizing it.
You might have had this trait for years without noticing because nobody ever pointed it out. These traits might range from being too loud in public to being excessively rude. You have to be sure that you’re open to criticism when you start down the path to fixing your quirks.
Don’t be afraid to learn that you’re not perfect – everyone has their negative traits – and being brave enough to seek help in fixing yours is a very honorable thing. Be open to seeking out the help of a counselor to help you along your path of change.
If you can’t handle criticism well, then you won’t be able to get anywhere when people tell you what they think you could improve on. Perhaps not being able to take criticism would be a good place to start in this instance.
To effectively get rid of your negative traits, you have to have it on your mind constantly. It helps if you ask your friends or coworkers to point out when you’re exhibiting those traits again.
If you never noticed them before, it’s not likely that you’ll notice after just realizing that it was an issue. Make fixing that trait your number one priority by setting reminders on your phone or on your computer, so it won’t slip your mind.
You can also leave yourself notes. Whatever it takes, just make sure you remember to stop exemplifying those negative traits. The primary benefit to weeding out your negative traits is that you’ll be more sociable.
People will want to hang out and be friends with you more or network with you for business reasons. By extension, this makes it extremely beneficial for your mental and emotional health.
You’ll be much happier when the people around you are happier. You’ll rest easier at night knowing that you made an improvement for the better, which will also make you more confident in yourself. You’ll be more successful all around, which will lead to a greater sense of satisfaction.
Be Honest About Whether or Not You’re Guilty of Complacency
Sometimes, our satisfaction and progress towards our goals is impeded by our own complacency. Complacency is the feeling of being okay with whatever happens around you.
This happens with online entrepreneurs when they experience a little bit of success, but instead of working toward the next level, they stay right where they are because it’s easier.
While being a little complacent is fine, being overly complacent is a dangerous thing. You shouldn’t always hate where you are in life, but you have to be able to be somewhat critical of your life to see where you can improve.
If everything is always fine, you won’t ever overcome any obstacles, and you’ll be stuck in an unfulfilling job forever. You have to find the right balance between being grateful for what you have, and wanting something better.
Complacency may have started being instilled in you as early as your first few years of school. Maybe you were told that you wouldn’t really amount to anything, so you got comfortable with the mediocre and just accepted it.
Maybe you started to think that you were doing just fine with the minimum amount of effort, so there was no reason to spend too much time focusing on your schoolwork. Once you reached the real world, these habits probably came along with you, and you’re less successful because of it.
How exactly do you undo so many years of complacency? How do you change your ways? Simply put, it’s like unlearning any other negative trait. You have to make it your main focus and work on it first thing every day.
Start pointing out everything that you would like to be better in your life. You don’t exactly have to be depressed about it, but being a little upset is a good way to drive you. Even more importantly, start making actual progress towards your goals and changes.
This is the only real way to break the cycle of complacency. Changing your complacent ways will help you immensely. First, you’ll notice that you’re much happier by being a little negative sometimes.
While it might sound strange, it makes sense when you think about it. If you’re always happy all the time, and it becomes commonplace, that feeling loses its importance. You need a bit of bad to be able to appreciate the good.
Secondly, you’ll work towards your goals more effectively. If you’re fine with everything as it is, you won’t have any desire to change your life. You need some kind of push to make you want to change things for the better, and not being content with everything might just be that push.
Are Your Closest Relationships Supporting Your Personal Satisfaction?
Sometimes, we’re held back from achieving our goals by the people we least suspect: those closest to us. Although it might be hard to accept, the people you’re the most well acquainted with might be working against you, whether they realize it or not.
They act as obstacles, preventing you from doing the things you love or pursuing your dream job. They might say things that make you rethink the path you want to go down, or make you feel as if you won’t be good enough to make it to your goals – especially if you’re trying to launch a new career path for something like online entrepreneurial efforts.
However, it’s not always that clear. Your friends and family will have different ways of interfering with your personal satisfaction. Some might be very straightforward and blunt, telling you that your goals are unrealistic or that you’re not good enough to achieve them.
The most dangerous kind are the ones who disguise their blocking as an attempt to help you. They might tell you to not pursue your dreams in the name of job security or some other excuse.
They could try to steer you in another direction, assuring you it’s the best path for you. In reality, only you know what’s best for you. Even if your closest relationships are acting as obstacles, you can’t just cut out everyone who’s important in your life.
If you just started seeing someone and they wanted you to stop pursuing your dreams, then perhaps it’d be a good idea to stop seeing them. However, how could you cut out your own parents if they tried to steer you towards a different career?
You have to be able to set a certain boundary in which you consider their advice if they give it to you, and respectfully decline it if you don’t agree with it. However, if they began to insult your career choice or goals, then they would be crossing the boundary you set.
Once people cross your boundaries, you have to make the decision of whether or not you should keep them in your life or distance yourself from them. You should weigh their positive and negative benefits, and if they’re an overall drag on your happiness, there’s no reason to keep them around – at least not on a continual basis.
Let them know that they’re bringing you down, and you’re not going to associate with them until they change their ways. If you let these people stick around in your life and tell you how to live it, you’ll end up unhappy and dissatisfied.